If you carry a heavy backpack for ten miles, a strange thing happens to your perception of weight. For the first mile, you are acutely aware of the straps digging into your shoulders. By mile five, your muscles ache, and you find yourself constantly shifting the load to find relief. But by mile ten, you almost forget you are wearing it. You don’t feel “heavy” anymore; you just feel tired, slow, and irritable.
Stress works exactly the same way in our psychological lives. When we live with high pressure for long enough, we stop noticing the stress itself as an external force. Instead, we simply accept a state of constant, vibrating tension as our “normal” baseline, forgetting that we were ever meant to feel light, focused, or truly at peace.
Why Your Brain Thinks “Calm” is Scary
When you have lived with high cortisol for a long time, your brain actually begins to fear the quiet. This is because your nervous system has become addicted to the “hum” of adrenaline. If you suddenly sit down to do nothing, your brain doesn’t think, “Oh, how nice, we’re resting.” Instead, it thinks, “It’s too quiet… what am I forgetting?”
This is why so many people feel restless or guilty the moment they stop being productive. If you look at resources here, you’ll find that this is a classic sign of a nervous system that has lost its ability to regulate itself.
This leads to the “Wait for It” feeling—that nagging sense that something bad is about to happen as soon as things get peaceful. Because your brain is used to solving problems, it will actually go out of its way to find or create new ones just to maintain the high-stress energy it’s used to.
You might find yourself picking a fight with a partner or worrying about a project that isn’t due for weeks, all because your brain feels “safer” when it is in a state of alarm than when it is in a state of calm.
Signs You Are Used to Too Much Stress
How do you know if your stress has become your new normal? One of the clearest signs is “Forgetting the Fun.” You might notice that you’ve stopped participating in hobbies you once loved because they now feel like “too much work.” When your baseline is high, even things meant to be enjoyable feel like just another chore on a daunting list. Your world starts to shrink until it only consists of the things you have to do, leaving no room for the things you want to do.
Another sign is the “Short Fuse.” Because your emotional bucket is already full to the brim, you have no space left for small inconveniences. A spilled coffee or a slow driver doesn’t just annoy you; it feels like a personal attack or a total disaster. You may also notice a sense of feeling “numb.” When your system is constantly managing small fires, it doesn’t have the energy to process big, happy emotions.
You might find yourself moving through life like a robot, getting things done but not actually feeling the joy of your achievements.
Simple Steps to Feel Better
Breaking the habit of stress doesn’t require a total life overhaul. It starts with “Micro-Resets.” These are tiny, sixty-second pauses throughout the day where you intentionally tell your brain that you are safe.
You can do this by taking three deep breaths, feeling the weight of your feet on the floor, or simply looking out a window. These small moments act as a “circuit breaker” for your stress, preventing the pressure from building up to an unmanageable level by the end of the day.
You also need to practice “Lowering the Volume.” Our modern world is designed to keep us overstimulated with notifications, loud music, and bright screens. Try to find ten minutes a day to sit in a quiet room with no phone and no distractions.
At first, this will feel incredibly uncomfortable—you might feel itchy, bored, or anxious. That discomfort is actually a sign that your brain is recalibrating. By staying in the quiet, you are teaching your nervous system that silence isn’t a threat, but a place of healing.
Choosing a Slower Life
Reclaiming your calm is a long game. You won’t lower your stress baseline overnight, and there will be days when the “backpack” feels heavier than others. That is okay.
The goal isn’t to live a life with zero stress; the goal is to live a life where stress is an occasional visitor rather than a permanent roommate. It requires shifting your definition of a “good day” from “I got everything done” to “I stayed at peace while I worked.”
As you begin to shed the weight of constant pressure, you might find that you have more energy, better focus, and a deeper connection to the people around you. You are allowed to move slowly. You are allowed to say “no” to things that drain you.
Most importantly, you are allowed to be at peace. When you finally put down the heavy backpack you’ve been carrying for miles, you’ll realize that life isn’t just about enduring the journey—it’s about enjoying the view along the way.
